Extreme Survival

Can Your Relationship Survive An Affair?

Many people aren’t committed one way or the other to ending their relationship over an affair. While a cheating partner is terribly destructive to the relationship, the psychology of cheating leads one to believe that if you’re willing to put up with it that you are somehow condoning it. This may or may not feel true to you.

You’ve seen her several times. She’s that one that does all of that excessive flirting. She doesn’t care about gender or age, she just flirts with everyone. Her office fashion jewelry is as beautiful as she is, and her body is that of someone with several hours in her day to work out.

Depression is easy to slip into when you find out your partner is having an affair. An extreme depression can mean that you simply stop trying to attract positive attention from your cheating partner. Things like doing your hair, taking the time to apply make up, winter time dry skin care, facial care, and even keeping up with the laundry can be overwhelming. It can seem like putting any effort forward can be considered a huge waste of time.

Of course the kids are confused. They seem to be down to one parent. The baby has no bond with his second parent. You take care of the kids, from bath time to bed time to everything in between. With the double electric breast pump sitting off to the side, you’re reminded that you had intended on sharing as much of the nursing experience as possible with your partner. But that is no more.

What do you do? Do you keep the relationship together in hopes that the affair will eventually disintegrate? Do you start preparing for life on your own? Is there any point to confronting your partner and forcing their hand in order to get him or her to choose? You have to keep moving, but when you don’t know what direction you’re moving in life can get very scary.

Some couples have simple rules. If you cheat it’s over. Other couples have less defined rules that leave some wiggle room in how you react to such a mess. The one thing you might be battling is fear. It can be frightening to feel as though someone else has taken away your sense of security. You’re willing to be all in, and then your partner and the affair threaten to destroy your sense of belonging in your own home. Yet being afraid to strike out on your own can be literally paralyzing.

Making your own decision is the ultimate power. Making sure that you are deciding exactly what is best for you and your kids is your way of making sure that you end up with the control of your emotions as well as control over your future.

Building a Shelter – Ray Mears Extreme Survival – BBC

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